Monday, Monday

I had jury duty today. Being in a room full of strangers is a real illustration of human diversity. There are those who huddle up in a corner and wait to be called and those who seek out conversation almost instantly. I noticed today that I was at peace being myself and being quiet in the midst of strangers.

I had the chance to declare hardship when called for what could be a four-week trial. I found myself practicing what I was going to say before I went in. When I rehearse my words in this way, I start slipping into the territory of manipulation. What I'm saying becomes less T.H.I.N.K. (thoughtful, honest, intelligent, necessary and kind) and more spin. I was conscious of this when I spoke to the judge, and did my best to just relay the facts. It was a good chance to use a new behavior.

I'm struck by the challenge of rectifying Al-Anon principles like "live and let live" with civic participation, especially when it requires me to judge the actions of another. I imagine there is no easy answer to this question.

I'm also thinking about being recently diagnosed with OCD. I'm not sure how important this diagnosis is to my recovery. I do believe that there are Al-Anon concepts and slogans that seem to apply to the experiences of people with OCD. I've even read online that therapists have used twelve step concepts and meetings to help treat OCD patients, even if they have no personal or family history of addiction.