Haiku

thoughts on a wire
each one cranes a neck to preen
before sleep or flight

Thinking that isn't thinking

These two slogans seem to contradict each other:

"Think" & "'Figure it out' is not a step."

I have food allergies. I did some research and came across advice from someone who had initially felt deprived by what she couldn't eat: "Change your idea of what food is."

I think a similar idea can form a bridge between these two slogans. Focusing on changing the way I think feels obsessive. Working on changing my idea of what thinking is feels like a big step forward.

Harden Not Your Heart

A hymn I just remembered:

"If today,
you hear the voice of god,
If today you hear,
god's own voice-
Harden not your heart, [chord, chord, chord, chord]
harden not your heart,
harden not your heart
today."

I find the voice of my higher power in Al-Anon much more loving to hear than the god I was told to believe in when I first heard this song.

Overheard

My higher power is not an alcoholic parent.

Move

Comparing is a game I will always lose, so I'm going to work on putting my energy somewhere else.

From The Once and Future King:
"Merlin always said that sportsmanship was the curse of the world, and so it is."

A break

Often I need to remind myself that my perspective is just one in the middle of many, but that doesn't mean it's not worthy of being expressed, in writing or to someone I trust. Sometimes it is hard to get beyond the drone of self-doubt.

One More Thing

“The world is before you, and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in.”
- James Baldwin

Better Late Than Never

I am grateful for a better understanding of powerlessness.

I am grateful we are a team.

for patience,
for practice,
for being of service,
for everyone in my home group,
for seeing my instinct for resentment and working on letting it go.

Friday Eve

BIG FLOWERS!!!!

I am grateful for being able to say how I feel.

I am grateful that we problem-solve!

for queer role models,
for people joined by love in a very special way,
for my higher power,
for each morning,
for the next right thing!!!

Blackberries for Wednesday

I am grateful for being able to start over at any part of the day.

I am grateful for learning about how to be with him and still be an imperfect person.

for reminders to be patient,
for many opportunities to help other people,
for kindness,
for blackberries,
for cuddling.

More more MORE

Grateful for today.

My boyfriend let me stab him with a lancet (yesterday). THAT requires trust.

working from home on Mondays,
snacks,
feeling ok about myself no matter how I look (or at least trying to)
being able to identify my feelings even if it takes prompting,
all the people in our neighborhood!

Sunday

I am grateful that I have the ability to do the next right thing.

I am grateful for the perspective I get from talking with my boyfriend. I am grateful for his insights.

for church,
for the opportunity to see a great documentary,
for the city,
for new skills,
for the ability to look at the future with joy!!

Saturday!

I am grateful that I give myself room to grow.

I am grateful for feeling safe enough with him to talk about things that have hurt me.

for weekends,
for the Al-Anon writing online,
for honesty,
for not knowing anyone's motives,
for the times I feel "right sized"

Day 4

I am grateful for feeling my feelings.

I am grateful that we both have spiritual practices.

For job options,
for coming home at night,
for serenity,
for not having to be perfect!
for "one day at a time"

Day 3

I am grateful that i have time to think.

I am grateful that my boyfriend and I laugh a lot.

for being useful at work,
for hope,
for sleep,
for blankets,
for al-anon and AA online speaker recordings.

Gratitude at Work

I am grateful that I get to ride my bike.

I am grateful that my boyfriend and I have compassion for each other.

for working in an LGBTQI workplace,
for food,
for our apartment,
for serenity,
for being an adult.

A Good Prompt

A great reminder about gratitude at Just For Today, and one I want to share.

In my relationship with myself, what am I grateful for?
In my relationship with myself, I am grateful that I can pause before taking an action.

In my relationship with my addict in recovery, what am I grateful for?
I am grateful for our walks and the great talking that comes with them.

What are you grateful for in general?
The warmer weather.
Our cat and our dog.
Books.
Poems to read.
Al-Anon.