Saturday, October 22, 2011

Strange

My therapist has tried to guide me away from using the word "strange" to describe complex emotions. I think this is important in taking an honest inventory of myself and my character defects.

I have idolized many people in authority, thinking that they had very few human flaws. Realizing that other people have the same human defects that I do is "strange."

This word hides a lot. In this case, it hides a feeling of disappointment, followed by the beginning of a deep sense of gratitude for our equality. I'm not sure what comes next.

When I try to hold on too hard to one feeling, I find my perception gets distorted. "Strange" is a word I use when I'm scared, but it's also a word I use when I feel like I'm letting go of something I could otherwise try to control.

I'm going to reflect on this more.

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